In a competitive match in my early golf days, my opponent commented right before I hit my shot, “That sure is a narrow opening up there between those traps.”  Fortunately, I put it on the green in spite of her jab.  Not sure why it is so, but women players can be pretty wicked to beginners.

When I decided to take lessons and improve my golf game, I made a specific plan to get my game into shape.  I loved to practice.  Being at the chipping green at the end of the day and honing my shots was heaven on earth to me.  The women at my club pretty much thought it was odd that I actually practiced more than I played. continue

I remember the first time I went to the golf course by myself to “pick up a game.”

It felt very weird to walk up to the desk and sign up as a single.  I had seen lots of people do it, primarily men.  Being paired up with random singles was part of my golf experience.  But ME, going out alone without a golf buddy in tow was uncomfortable.

I started by going to the driving range alone. I came to LOVE my solo practice sessions.  I love the feeling of a clean golf shot.  Some say a shot on the sweet spot feels better than sex.  I will let you deal with that one on your own.  Suffice it to say, the golf swing does feel really good when it is honed and practiced.

When my kids were young,  I would escape to the area range when my husband got home from work. It was a GREAT escape.  I could hit dozens of balls with no interruptions.  Time for myself.  Occasionally guys would stop by to admire my swing and many would volunteer free tips, even though my swing was better than theirs!

But going out to play alone was foreign and unappealing. I decided that was ridiculous and made a date with myself to pick up a game.  Isn’t weird how we make such a big deal out of nothing?  I had a fantastic time that day!  Acting as if I had done it a thousand times before, I walked up to the cute young pro behind the desk and said, “Greens fees for one please.”

To my immense relief, he didn’t look at me like I was a loser who couldn’t get a golf date. He just quoted the price, took my card, handed me a score card and pointed me in the direction of the first tee.  I felt wonderful.  I went out and introduced myself to the three men I was joining and got ready to tee off.

The guys were great.  They didn’t know each other either! We all had our share of bad shots and good shots and chatted about this and that.  It is easy to say “Nice shot!”  And everyone has a golf story to tell!  A golf pro buddy of mine says it takes about 3 holes before people loosen up and start to engage with one another.  I think she is right!  By the end of a round, there is a nice rapport within the group.  Settling into the 19th hole for a beverage and recap puts just the right finish on the day.

I love meeting new golf friends. There are even golf meet up groups (http://Meetup.com) in many cities.  If golfing alone intimidates you, all the better reason to get out there and do it!!  Golf is the best confidence builder ever and if you don’t think so….get out there and get some lessons.  If great golf really IS better than sex, you don’t want to miss out do you?

If your self confidence needs a boost, check out this free telecall on November 10 at 6 pm pacific: http://ow.ly/AISt

Yeah Baby!!

One of the reasons I LOVE golf is because it stretches me like nothing else! Ever since the days when I used to whiff, (yikes, what a shock that is!) fear of failure in golf has haunted me.  I am a pretty decent player these days (yay!) but deep inside the fear of embarassing myself is still there.

I played golf for 15 years before I actually started to play well. My scores ranged right around 100 for eighteen holes and I LOVED to play!  Imagine how fun it was when my scores dropped into the seventies!  I worked hard at my game and did a lot of practicing at home (the old mat and mirror technique.)  My missed shots got less frequent, yay!  The irony is, I got even MORE embarassed when I would mess up.

I wasn’t a club thrower or obscenity tosser. No, I steamed on the inside.  I was a miserable person to play with, bless my golf mates’ hearts!  Being terrible to myself was the norm.  I HATED it when I couldn’t perform at my best.

My turning point came when tragedy struck. A young friend of mine was killed in a snow mobile accident.  He was only 34, a great guy, full of life and potential.  He was a passionate golfer and as a personal memorial to him, I vowed to never be a jerk in golf again.

My resolve to learn to be patient on the course has revolutionized the game for me. My acceptance of my own imperfections has lifted my self esteem.  Learning that golf is not a game that needs perfection in order to be enjoyed is a life long pursuit.  I still get frustrated.  I still hit shanks and worm burners.  But I am choosing to respond differently.

I can now have fun even on an off day.  I learned that if my ‘A’ game doesn’t show up on a given day, I can still have a heck of a good time with my ‘B’ game…..IF I choose to do so!  Yes, feeling better about yourself is the perfect way to not only LOVE this wonderful game, your improved self esteem will impact your off the course life too!

Golf stretches and stretches and stretches you! Each game is filled with problems to be solved, just like life!  Get out there and enjoy it!

I was out practicing at the driving range the other day with my sweetie.  Once again, I was in the minority.  It is fun being the only girl around! When I was teaching golf, I had a hard time convincing many of my students to actually practice.  They would tell me they always hit a few balls before their round and that was their idea of practice.

Funny, these players never saw much improvement.  Serious players, wanting to improve their game are a great group of guys.  Here are some of the reasons I love them:

1.  They would rather be outside on a sunny Saturday afternoon than at home on the couch watching football. Yes, they probably are Tivoing the game, but that is a different issue!

2. Many notice and compliment the rare woman who makes an appearance at the range. Single women crave being noticed and appreciated by guys and golfers truly appreciate a woman who knows what she is doing out there.

3. Guys are ready to have a putting or chipping contest. It is really easy to strike up a casual conversation over a practice session.  Don’t believe me?  Just try it!

4. Golf Etiquette inspires politeness. The golf environment is usually pretty gentlemenly.  Yes, there are the occasional yahoos in the ranks of amateur golfers.  For the most part, though, the men are respectful about how they behave out there.

5. A woman is treated the way she EXPECTS to be treated in golf. I hear all kinds of stories about how rude and classless some men are on the golf course.  I can honestly tell you, that is not my experience.  I have met and continue to meet the best men around when I go to practice or play.

If you are a single gal who wants to pal around with the fantastic guys who love the game of golf, you have nothing to lose by taking some lessons with your area golf pro and hitting the driving range.  Set an intention to be the best player you can be and you WILL attract some pretty suh-weet attention out there!  Can romance be far behind?

I was eagerly anticipating my first Women On Course Golf Experience and I was not disappointed! From the greeting committee (where I got to meet Helen McHugh, Director of Strategic Partnerships, Wendy Montini, West Coast Event Director and Nicole Vockovich from Mass Mutual) through to the signature wine and cheese feast at the end of the round, the day was fantastic.

I was particularly impressed with the care taken to usher the brand new golfers into their own golf experience. The “Red” group, women brand new to the game, was shepherded around the facility and given some etiquette and putting basics while my group, the “Green” group, appropriately called Avid golfers, played a nine hole scramble. The “Blue” group, advanced beginners, had a one hour clinic and played a four hole scramble of their own.

The group included interesting women from all parts of San Diego and I met some fantastic new contacts. It was a great fun to watch the happy winners of great prizes including a Callaway golf bag and other cool things. Each woman received a goodie bag to take home. The energy was amazing and the networking was fabulous!

We raised our wine glass to Donna Hoffman founder of Women on Course! Her passion to create a golf community for women that is relaxing, fun and easy to access has definitely drawn me back into the game. After a two year hiatus, I am delighted to be part of this organization. I love these events, the fabulous women I am meeting each time I go and being treated so elegantly throughout the day!

Thanks Donna, Lee and the rest of the WOC team who made my day such a success!

Be a guest at our next Women on Course event!

Ladies there are some of you reading this who once had a passing interest in golf.  Or maybe you are a retired softball or tennis player.  Golf offers the kind of challenge that will sharpen you right up…at every level.  To say nothing of the advantages of being a skilled woman golfer in business.

Don’t get me wrong.  You don’t have to be scoring in the 80’s to take play the  highly profitable game of customer golf.  Nor do you need a single digit handicap to host a threesome of important male contacts on a fabulously planned golf event.  All you need is a presence on the golf course that communicates a serious respect for the game and a great sense of humor. continue

“I used to have friends that just just hung out together.” She sighed. “ We didn’t have to make plans or anything  We just hung out”.  The woman on the other end of the phone continued, “I think I just gave up trying years ago.”  Can you relate?

Where did our social circles go anyway? Years ago it seemed we easily congregated in some one’s apartment or dorm room. Young moms might gather occasionally at the neighborhood Starbucks, but eventually work environments become the main social environment.  How few of us work with groups of people who are genuinely supportive and kind to one another.  On good days ambivalent and on bad ones down right hostile, no wonder we isolate ourselves more and more as we get older. continue

What is a girl to do? Her man is heading off to the course for his typical Saturday round and she wishes she could go along. If you are beginning to want to have golf as part of your romantic life with your man, good for you!

Getting some lessons and a couple of buddies of your own to practice with is critical (See WomenOnCourse.com). You do need some basic knowledge to get into golf but once you have some experience under your belt, now what?

Here are the Top Ten Things You Can Say To Turn On Your Golfer: continue

I wonder where the term “golf widow” came from in the first place.

I spend a lot of time doing my own thing while my man is on the golf course and believe me, I don’t wear black and mourn!! After going through a couple of seasons away from the game because of a health challenge, I am back playing, though not nearly as often as my honey.

It was my first husband’s passion about golf that got me into the game in the first place. I was 22 and quickly surmised that if I wanted to spend time with him, I needed to take up golf. Fortunately, I LOVED it. As a matter of fact, I became consumed with the game on my own. But I do have him to thank for getting me into golf in the first place.

But golf WIDOW? Yikes! What a stark and awful image. continue